Season Report Card 2011/12

We ended the season trophyless. Since Ronaldo left, this has probably been the likely outcome for some years, yet thru sheer dumb luck and the utterly pathetic state of the league, we've always ended with some silverware. This season, we finally got our comeuppance. It took a while but when it eventually came, it came with a vengence. To be more precise, it came in the final 2 minutes of injury time.

So that beggars the question: how will we react to this failure? In previous seasons, we've always returned stronger and more resilient, but this time round, the feelings around me amongst my fellow United fans seem alittle subdued. The league looks like it's going to get harder for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it certainly looks like we're unable, or unwilling, to compete amongst the rest of the clubs for the signatures of the best available talent out there. From David Gill to Sir Alex, the message is simple, we're not able or willing to spend big money on big names. Being dumped out of the Champions League early and not winning any silverware also means we lose out on some big money, which directly affects our spending power (not that we had much in the first place). From that standpoint, it seems we'd be back to spending stupid money on prospects instead of spending stupid money on proven talent.

Secondly, it seems the rest of the teams below us are really going to spend big money. Arsenal has already gotten a proven players in Podolski. Spurs are, in my opinion, a top team. All they need to do is go out and get a real manager. Chelsea is going to spend big, especially after the euphoria of winning the Champions League. And lastly, we all know what Manchester Shitty is going to do in Middle Eastlands.

In short, all the teams around us are improving, or building from a strong talent-base. All, except us.

The only advantage we over everyone else is that we have Alex Ferguson. If he can motivate the troops, we can compete. If not, we'd be what we actually are, a team good enough to enter the Champions League, but not good enough for the top honours anymore.

There are only two reasons why we ended up where we are. The first is that everyone around us fucked up beyond all recognition. Chelsea were never in the races this season, and Spurs were hit by some managerial uncertainty. Arsenal is Arsenal, and Liverpool was managed by someone living in the stone age. The second is that we were carried by our 3 wingers, Ashley Young, Valencia and Nani at various points in the season. The trio took turns to keep us in the race, either with crosses or with goals.

With all that said, this makes for grim reading:

The Grades:

David De Gea (B+)
Considering his age, he's done pretty well. With the price tag that he came with, he had a jittery start to his career and it definitely cost us some points. But credit has to be given to his form towards the end of the season. He single-handedly kept us in some games and in the hunt towards the latter parts of the season. More will definitely be expected of him in the years to come. Definitely room for major improvement.

Anders Lindeggard (B+)
He settled in well. Solid but not spectacular. Would most probably have been the key man down the run-in had he not been injured. Given De Gea's late season form and the pricetag he came along with, Anders would probably have to spend his career on the bench.

Ben Amos (B)
Not too sure if B is a fair grade. He saw precious little time, but when he did, he didn't fuck up. That's all you can ask for a 3rd choice keeper.


Patrice Evra (C-)
C for captain, and leading by example certainly isn't in his resume. You can count of one hand the number of good games he's had all season, and he's played in most games. In fact he probably was responsible for a huge number of points we lost in the beginning of the season. I suspect the only reason why he starts so much for us is that we have no one plying their trade at left-back. Buying a left-back ranks very highly on my wishlist for next season.

Rio Ferdinard (B)
Missed a good chunk of the beginning of the season. When he returned, he proved himself to be adequate enough despite a bad back.

Johnny Evans (B)
The problem with Evans is that he doesn't instill and confidence of those around him or the fans. Whenever the fans see his name on the teamsheet, there are more groans than cheers. However in his defense (pun fully intended), he's performed his job well without being spectacular.

Smalling (B-)
He was blamed for the goal at Shitty. However to me, it was the team that defended badly. Truth be told, he suffered from second season syndrome. There were times he was really good, but there were times he was really bad too.

Phil Jones (B+)
He really deserved an A, He burst onto the scene full of promise but injuries derailed his season. He never looked like that same guy after he returned from injury. Remains to be seen if he can find any consistency next season.

Rafael (A)
I really like Rafael's improvement this season. He doesn't start as much as he should. He's cut down on those silly, reckless challenges that tend to put us in dangerous positions. Whenever he roams forward, he creates trouble with paired with Nani or Valencia. Unfortunately for him, it looks like he's behind the packing order behind Smalling and Jones for that right-back position.

Paul Scholes (A+)
You can insert all your Jesus jokes here. Since the last two thousand years, there hasn't been a second coming that meant so much to so many people.

Michael Carrick (C+)
Sigh, I really dread this entry. Carrick is a good guy, he really is. He's always done what he's been asked to do. In any other club, he would and should be a star, but not with us. For some reason, he's just not what we signed him for. But because he's one of the first names on the teamsheet, we need a creative midfielder in the worst way possible, even if it's just to ensure he doesn't get to play and hold us back.

Cleverley (B)
The way he started the season, you would think we'd be rid of Carrick. Unfortunately he got injured. He was never the same sure after he came back from injury....twice.

Anderson (B)
Woulda, coulda, shoulda. His partnership with Cleverley in the centre of the park was a beauty to behold. Together, they did everything in midfield that we wished Carrick would do on his best day. But like Cleverley, he got injured and never came back.

Park Ji Sung (B-)
He was used sparingly this season. And whenever he was called upon, he did a man's job until Yaya Toure came along.

Ryan Giggs (B-)
Father Time can only be so kind for so long. It's obvious age has caught up with Giggsy. You can see he's tried his best and many a times, his best is no longer good enough. If there is one thing I really hope I would never see is, Giggs and Scholes paired up together ever again, unless it's to confuse Father Time.

Ashley Young (A)
I really didn't like the signing at the beginning of the season, but gradually came to terms with it. His wing play has been good and has scored important goals. He's one of the few reasons to cheer this season.

Antonio Valencia (A)
As bad as and as inconsistant as the season has been, Valencia has been one of the few players who was consistant when he's not injured. Like Ashley Young, he's been a joy to watch, despite the fact he's a one-trick pony, albeit a very good one-trick pony.

Nani (A)
He's still as inconsistant as hell. However as inconsistant as he is, he's possibly one of our most important players. He can single-handedly change the game with a dribble or a shot. He's our poor man's version of Ronaldo.

Wayne Rooney (C)
Just before you say I'm out of my mind for giving a 27-goal man a C, hear me out first. Let me start off by saying Rooney oozes with talent. Just a couple of years ago, we were comparing Rooney, Messi and Ronaldo. But now, Rooney has fallen so far off the stratosphere that he's breathing a completely different density of air from the other two. The problem with Rooney is his terrible inconsistency. When he disappears, he does so completely for ridiculously long stretches of 15-20 games at a time. In fact he becomes a distraction when he plays badly. Without an adequate backup, he's all we've got. So it's either feast or famine with Rooney and you need to ask yourselves if this is good enough for a club like United.


Javier Hernandez (B-)
All I can say is Chicharito can't dribble, can't pass, can't cross. However he has one talent that outshines everyone on the team except maybe Owen. He can put the goddamn ball into the net. He's suffering from second season syndrome and I expect him to come back with a vengence next season. That's especially so if he gets some rest in the off-season after 2 full years consecutive.


Danny Welbeck (B+)
That loan spell with Sunderland last season did wonders to his confidence. There's been some significant improvement to his all round play. I'm looking forward to what he can do next season.

Dimitar Berbatov (B)
I honestly don't know what more you can ask from the man. I think he's gotten the short end of the stick here. He was the joint top scorer last season and he's hardly featured this season. And to add insult to injury, instead of letting him go, the club held on to his rights for another season. As much as I utterly hate his style of play when he does get a chance to play, I think he's being mistreated by the club in the worst way possible. With his treatment and that of Kuszczak last season, the club could very well be starting to gain a reputation of being dicks to their out-of-favour players.

The Ungradeables:

Nemanja Vidic
Boy, did we miss him this season. Not saying that our central pairing of Rio and Evans are that bad, but with Vidic around, at least we'd have a real captain, instead of the rudderless and soulless team we were put thru the entire season.

Fabio
Can he last half a season? I'm not greedy asking for a whole season. Anything to give Evra a good kick up the arse every now and then would really be nice.

Darren Fletcher
Get well soon. Anything not to see Carrick so often. Familiarity breeds contempt.


And saving the best for last:

Alex Ferguson (C)
I hesitate to say this, but this was a poorly managed season on so many levels. I don't even know where to start.

1. Evra as captain. Really?

2. Getting into a verbal fight with Roy Keane all season long. Keane won every bout by the way. And it wasn't by points either.

3. We didn't get a creative midfielder. We didn't get a defensive midfielder. We didn't get anyone who could play in the centre of the park. We had to have our Jesus jokes. At least Scholes came back rejuvenated.

4. His treatment of Berbatov was deplorable at best. Word gets around.

5. Tactically, there were too many times we played scared. It's either by design or by personale. Either way, it's both his fault.


At least with Ferguson, you know by some hook or by some crook, he's going to motivate this bunch of players. Next season will really show if Ferguson still has it in him to be the manager of this football club.

Of course as fans, we can only hope for the best. It's really beginning to seem like our golden age has ended. With the failure to win silverware, the spectre of debt hanging over us and Ferguson losing the plot alittle, it makes for some challenging times ahead of us.

As for me, I'm optimistic by nature. We're not Liverpool!