United Scrapes Thru After Flying Start

Manchester United 2 - Marseille 1
Scorers
Manchester United: Hernandez (5, 75)
Marseille: Brown (og 81)


Team: Van der Sar, Smalling, Brown, O'Shea (Rafael 36 (Fabio 70)), Evra, Carrick, Scholes, Giggs, Nani (Valencia 62), Rooney, Hernandez

We really made it hard on ourselves after a blistering opening to the game. We came out of the blocks and took advantage of Merseille's youth. While they were in awe of the moment, Hernandez scored a poacher's goal with a tap-in following Rooney's cross cum shot.

It was opportunities galore but in typical United fashion, we refused to make it count. Gradually Marseille got their act together and had a few threatening moments but were wasteful.

We threatened to swing the gates wide open at the start of the second half, but were once again unable to find the net. Marseille grew in confidence as the game wore on and they started to create chances. The tie was hanging on a balance by a knife's edge, until brilliant play from Valencia and Giggs created another poacher's tap-in for Hernandez with 15 minutes to go.

We should have been home and dry. We really should have. Instead of pressing home our advantage, we took a backseat, hoping to see out the game and were rather unfortunate to have Marseille pull one back when Brown put the ball into his own net. It set up a really tense ending to the game, one that was unneccessary.

Despite the somewhat close scoreline, we were pretty much the better team on the night. There were some really good performances on and off the pitch.

Thumbs Up
UEFA - Definitely got a thumbs up for the support and the minute's silence in the aftermath of the earthquake in Japan. I have to say that the Japanese people as a whole were absolutely brilliant in handling the crisis. I doubt any nation or people in the world would have handled the situation any better. In the face of a life threatening situation, they were still looking out for the people around them and that spirit is commendable, unfortunately will not be replicated anywhere else on this earth.

Rooney - His passing today was quite out of this world. He made some jaw-dropping passes that left me....well...with my mouth gaping. Looks like he could very well be back to his best.

Hernandez - What can you say about this little pea that hasn't been said? He was everywhere and his positioning for both the goals was top class. Not to mention he's in the form of his life. No wonder Berbatov can't get off the bench despite his exploits this season.

Smalling - My word, he's our new man mountain. He's had another top class game. Let's hope it's a consistent thing with him. I remember going crazy over Evans when he first played, but it faded off after sometime.


Thumbs Down
Evra - Was given the captain's armband but it wasn't a captain's performance. He's tackling was ridiculously reckless and was lucky not to have been given a second yellow in the early stages of the second half. That said, he was however, pretty effective going forward.

Ray Wilkins - I was really unfortunate to have this dick as part of the commentating team alongside Billy Leslie. There was nothing he said during the game that wasn't obvious. Not only was he Captain Obvious, he was auditioning for Captain Blowjob. The entire night he was drooling over Rooney's passing even when Rooney didn't pull them off. It was almost this idiot has Rooney's dick in his mouth the whole time. And he crossed the line in the final 10 minutes of the game when he was probably jisming in his pants when Carrick made a long pass. The kicker - Carrick completely missed the target he was aiming for. Chelsea were smart to let his idiot go. All that needs to happen now is for Liverpool to sign him up so we won't get to hear sperm mouth fucking our ears.

Carrick - Didn't have a good game. Didn't have a bad game. Just wanted to put him here.