United Thrashes Ten Men West Brom

WBA 0 - Manchester United 5
Scorers
Manchester United: Berbatov (22), Tevez (44), Vidic (60), Ronaldo (65, 73)

Red Card
WBA: Robinson (40)

Team: Van der Sar, Vidic, Rio (Brown 70), Neville (Eckersley 70), O'Shea, Carrick, Giggs, Park, Ronaldo, Berbatov (Tosic 77), Tevez

There were plenty of talking points in this match, most of which circled around referee, Rob Styles, but one thing that cannot be denied was that United's class shown thru. In a season where we've coughed, stuttered and generally been clueless beyond the defence, today was a statement game to all our closest rivals that we're finding our form and a reminder of just how devastating it can be.

The day couldn't have started off worse. Due to traffic issues, the game was delayed by 30 minutes. Already suffering from a severe lack of sleep due to the Chinese New Year celebrations, I was practically nodding off while waiting for the game to start. I was quite expecting another dull 1-0 bore-fest that has plagued our season so far, but on hindsight, it was worth the wait.

Unlike the game at Old Trafford in October, West Brom started brightly and threatened to run riot before surprise inclusion, Rio, and his partner, Vidic, stamped the flow. Slowly United crept into the game and began to impose our superiority and class. Carrick seemed to have found a phonebooth at the Hawthorns and dorned his Superman cape, spraying exquisite passes all over the pitch.

It wasn't a surprise that Carrick's passing ripped the West Brom defense apart, setting Berbatov free to score the opener. West Brom couldn't cope with United's pace and guile off the ball.

Neville had a legitimate shout at a penalty, but Rob Styles, being the utterly useless referee he is, waved play on, while the replays showed clearly that Neville was upended. To compound matters, he reduced West Brom to ten men, sending their skipper off for a bad foul on Park. It looked a little harsh, and by the way we were playing, we hardly needed any advantage.

The game threatened to boil over as the West Brom players were starting to lose their heads. The heat of the moment probably got to Carson most, when he dropped a routine catch, allowing Tevez to slam the ball home. Luckily half time came before Styles got into serious trouble with the West Brom players.

West Brom came out from the break a determined side to right the wrongs and could jolly well have pulled one back had it not been for the woodwork. We didn't do ourselves any favours either by getting complacent and sloppy with the ball.

Vidic, perhaps sensing that the game was getting away from us, took matters into his own hands and set us on the right path by scoring from a corner, casting all doubts away. He's our best player this season so far. An unmoveable rock.

We were back in our stride and Ronaldo added a brace to comprehensively put West Brom away.

There could've been more United goals, but it would have been rather harsh on a feisty West Brom side. While I acknowledge they lack the pedigree of a Premiership side, I would hate to see a hardworking underdog go down over some other bigger names like Spurs, Newcastle or Boro.

As for us, we're sitting pretty at the top of the table. We boostered our goal difference and broke Chelsea's premiership record of clean sheets. More importantly, we're starting to really play good football and the confidence is slowly returning to the side. And if Carrick and reproduce a few more performances like this (pretty doubtful though), we might be in for a treat the remainder of the season.

Styles Spoils Perfectly Good Game

Manchester United 2 - Bolton 0
Scorers
Manchester United: Ronaldo (pen 60), Rooney (77)

Team: Van der Sar, Rio, Vidic, Evra, Neville, Fletcher, Anderson (Scholes 71), Park, Ronaldo (Nani 81), Babertov, Tevez (Rooney 71)

We beat our favourite whipping boy for the past few seasons but the mood was somewhat spoilt by the worst referee in the EPL.

For a huge portion of the game, we were left frustrated, firing blanks in front of goal. Bolton had come with a game plan and it was to park the entire bus in front of the goal. Our ridiculously expensive strikeforce on show did very little to justify their pricetag. The only threat came from the one-man demolition crew, Ronaldo. He was probably the only person actually taking on the responsibility of taking shots, but Jaaskelainen was simply a man mountain today.

That's not to say we didn't play hard. We played extremely hard, but just couldn't find a way past 11 men in the penalty box. But you knew that it was just a matter of time before we find the back of the net.

Rob Styles decided to make amends for his past transgressions against us and awarded us a supremely weak penalty when Ronaldo was brought down in the box. No, actually it didn't even look like a penalty no matter how many times you look at it. And from the way we were playing, we didn't need that kind of help.

Anyway, Ronaldo made it one up for us. We probably deserved the lead at that point, but the occasion had a sour feel to it.

At least the second was a thing of beauty. Ronaldo laid the ball to Rooney and he fired it in from an acute angle giving us a comfortable cushion. There probably could have been more had we been more prolific, but I think at the end of the day it was a fair result. Bolton would probably have been hard done by had it been more.

The FA needs to really do something about the piss poor quality of refereeing in the English game. The phantom goal last week between Watford and Reading should have been a wake up call for them. Oh, and they should never let Styles referee another top-flight game again. He's utterly useless.

Lambs To The Slaughter. United Slams Six Past Barcodes.

Manchester United 6 - Newcastle 0
Ronaldo 49, 70, 89
Tevez 55, 90
Ferdinand 85

Team : Edwin Van der Sar, Evra (Simpson 67), Rio, Vidic, O'Shea, Anderson (72), Carrick, Giggs (Nani 72), Ronaldo, Tevez, Rooney

This has been one helluva strange night. For starters, I can't for the hell of me remember when was the last time I've been this sick. It must have been at least 10 years ago since I last felt this ill. In anycase, I managed to crawl out of bed and catch this game. All I have to say is that it was bloody worth it.

And if you've noticed (you must have), I've screwed around with the presentation of this report with slightly more details. It's probably not going to be very permanent since it's helluva lot of work and I'm generally helluva lazy.

My initial reaction to facing the crybabies after the demise of Big Sam was probably....oh fuck. I never like facing teams with their backs against the wall. This is especially so for a fucked up team like Newcastle. It's been apparent for the past couple of months or so that the players (with the exception of Nicky Butt) have given up on Big Sam. And now without the scapegoat around, the onus falls on the players to pull up their socks. The truth is that this team has under-achieved and their position on the table does not reflect their strength.

Oh man, was I ever so wrong.

They are every bit as pathetic as their record shows. If not for the fact that there are teams like Derby, Boro, Fulham and Wigan around, they would be my prime candidates for the drop.

In the opening 15 minutes, Rooney could have had a hat-trick to add to his already impressive personal tally against Newcastle (7 in 8 games). Time and time again in that period, Rooney found himself with plenty of space for the shot. Given was impressive on the night and saved 3 times, while Rooney missed a fourth. It was a signal for things to come.

Rob Styles didn't help matter when he denied 2 genuine claims for a penalty when both Ronaldo and Giggs were fouled in the box. Quite frankly, how the hell Rob Styles is still a premiership referee is beyond me. I can only summise that the standards of refereeing is so bad that Styles still has a freaking job.

On the other side of the pitch, the linesman denied Michael Owens a genuine chance for a one on one situation when he rised his flag too early.

It was a frustrating first half. We had plenty of shots at goal but nothing to show for. Dodgy decisions aside, we were by far the better team. However, Given was outstanding in goal and Newcastle were battling hard.

Like I mentioned, it was a strange night. The half time oranges must have done their trick. United came riproaring out of the tunnel.

Ronaldo won a freekick on the edge of the box. Instead of a trademark balloon into row Z, Ronaldo cheekily struck the ball under the wall and into the net. For once the advance scouting team had done their job. They must have noted that Newcastle's wall had the tendency to jump and Ronaldo exploited it to perfection.

After taking a well-deserved lead, United drove forward with greater determination to consolidate the win and retake the top spot in the Premiership standings. True to form, Newcastle's defense crumbled when Given smacked a clearance into his defender. Giggs was onto the loose ball in a flash and Tevez had the easiest of task of poking it into an empty net.

What was perhaps more astonishing than Newcastle's defensive suicide was that Tevez whipped out a pacifier and stuck it into his mouth. It's not the first time he's done that but I'm seriously hoping it's the last time. I have nothing against extravagant celebrations, but did anyone seriously take a look at where he whipped the pacifier from? Jesus, the fucking last thing I would do, given it's previous resting place, is to put it in my mouth!

If the first goal was from a set-piece, the second from Newcastle committing harakiri, the third was pure class. Great passing from Carrick to Rooney to Tevez and finally to Ronaldo. This was United at it's finest. We simply tore Newcastle apart for that goal.

5 minutes from time, Rio added a fourth when Rooney's clipped ball found him with time and space to volley in from close range.

Ronaldo completed his hat-trick on 89 minutes. Ferguson usually substitutes Ronaldo before he gets his hat-trick but tonight he allowed Ronaldo the opportunity to bask in glory.

Tevez completed the massacre with a sixth. His volley hit the underside of the bar and the linesman flagged that it has gone beyond the line. The replays were non-conclusive. 5 goals or 6 goals, it didn't really matter. Well, actually it did for Alan Smith who was given his marching orders for protesting that last goal.

This was an incredible second half display of our ruthlessness, something that has been missing for quite sometime. If we can put this kind of performance in every now and then, we'd be a scary team to play against.

We now sit level on points with Arsenal, who drew against Birmingham. It's only a matter of time before we pull away from them. The biggest surprise for me is how Chelsea is coping with their injuries and missing players. They have pulled a string of grinding victories to keep pace at the top. As of right now, it's a three horse race.

Note:
After one of the worst perfomances last week, Michael Carrick probably had one of his best nights in a United shirt. I'm actually caught between him and Ronaldo for my man of the match. Ronaldo possibly edges it with the hat-trick, but take nothing away from an outstanding game from Carrick.

Yup, it's been one helluva strange night.

United Aids Shitty to Top With Another No Goal (Manchester City 1 - Manchester United 0)

A week into the new season of our title defence, and we're already staring up the table, a massive 7 points behind local rivals, Shitty. This is an almost unthinkable position given the fact we've spent massively after winning the title last season in one of the most stylish manners possible.

The inability to score is really hurting us this season. Again in this game we've looked the more likely team to score but again in this game, we didn't.....or more aptly put, we couldn't. I'm sure even the most optimistic of fans will find concern in our inability to find the net.

I take everything I said about Owen Hargreaves in the off season back. He was awesome. He was literally everywhere on the pitch, making the important challenges, winning the ball and pushing the play forward. There were times I actually thought Keano had returned. Yes, he was that good. It'd probably be a few more games before I'd even come close to annointing him as the next Keano, but today he certainly earned his stripes. The only think lacking from him today was willing the team to victory. To be fair to everyone else who played, they were all pretty damn good today.

We started this game with a swagger, looking to decimate Shitty with our passing and approach play. For a good 30 minutes, there was only one team playing football, and another watching in total admiration. We played like the Champions of last season and totally dominated the Shitty midfield. Shitty didn't even get a sniff of the ball let alone string any passes.

Then the unthinkable happened. Totally against the run of play, Giovanni, our tormentor from Benfica, popped up outside our penalty box and scored with the aid of a deflection. Van der Sar didn't have a chance in hell to save it. It was as if the Gods of Football were mocking us. After all we had done in the past 30 minutes, we were rewarded by going one goal down. The lads in red looked stunned while the other set of players in blue grew in confidence and started making cheeky forays into our half.

Try as we might in the second half, the equalizer simply wouldn't materialize. At this point in time my brain and heart both switched off and quite frankly, I really can't recall what happened. Maybe subconsciously my brain is saving me from a huge headache fathoming just how quickly things have changed. All that I knew was the final result and our unbeaten run had been stopped! <---tongue firmly in cheek.

While the Blue side of Manchester celebrates their ascend to the peak, we're left to ponder over how costly losing Rossi or Smith is and wonder how cruel fate is to rob us of Rooney.

Yet in the doom and gloom of it all, there were some good things to take away today.
1. Shitty is shit. It's just a matter of time before they come back down to earth.
2. Things can't possibly get any worse. When you're right at the bottom, the only way is up......except for losing to Spurs next week.
3. Hargreaves was awesome, so was Tevez.
4. Nani is almost the exact carbon copy of Ronaldo. Which means in 3 years time, he'd be a great player.
5. Rob Style royally screwed Liverpool. Yup, I just had to take a dig at both Styles and the grannystabbers.

10 Men Reading Holds Champions (Manchester United 0 - Reading 0)

I had a strange feeling this was going to happen and privately expressed my fears to Kentona but held my tongue/keyboard here instead of jinxing the team.

We did everything and batted relentlessly at the Reading goal but it simply refused to give. Maybe it was the late kick off that screwed us again (a running theme on this blog last season), or that Rooney was injured and we didn't have a recognised striker to take his place. Or even the fact that prior to our game, the only other draw game was Derby vs Portsmouth. The law of averages some how evened out the draw statistics, especially after both Chelsea and Arsenal won their games earlier.

We were heads and shoulders the better side today, spending a huge portion of the game literally camped inside Reading's half. We pelted their goal with shots but that big American, Hahnemann was equal to the task. Carrick, Ronaldo and Rooney all played brilliantly. Carrick in particular was exceptional with his passing.

It was a blow to us when Rooney was taken off at the half, presumably for an injury to his foot sustained in the first period. Let's hope it's nothing serious. Despite our attacking prowess on paper, we're actually paper thin when it comes to planting that important target man up front. If Rooney's injury is a long term one, we could rue losing both Smith and Rossi this summer, since Tevez would be the only fit one left standing.

Nani did well coming on to replace Rooney and I expect him to be a crowd favourite with his unselfishness and work rate. For that same reason, I'm sure Tevez will win the hearts of the Old Trafford faithful.

Reading was reduced to 10 men in the 72 minute, when substitute Dave Kitson lunged at Evra with his studs showing. It was a dangerous challenge and could have seriously hurt Evra. While I thought it might have been harsh to send him off at first glance, the replays had me agreeing with referee, Rob Styles....something that doesn't happen very often. And if anyone is wondering, I still think he's a crap referee.

And that statement was perfectly justified in the dying seconds of injury time when he firstly gave Reading a corner instead of a goalkick to us...and when he harshly gave a freekick to us right at the edge of the Reading penalty area. Both were piss poor decisions, but in the end they cancelled themselves out.

The draw's a disappointing result, given the way we had approached this game. And it's even more disappointing considering our perceived main rivals all scrapped to victory on the opening day. Well, as they say, the Premiership title is a marathon and not a sprint, let's just make that we recover well from this stumble off the blocks.

A Point Separates United And The Title (Manchester City 0 - Manchester United 1)

Caught this game at the kopitam with Kentona and our respective better halves. The atomsphere wasn't exactly the best since we were surrounded by ABUs (Anyone But United) willing Shitty on. The game itself wasn't anywhere near our best showing but against a 'massive' club like Shitty, we did enough to etch out a win.

Shitty must have been rubbing their collective hands together in glee when they learnt that Rob Styles was in charge of this match. Given his abysmal record of not protecting United players, it was the green light for Shitty to 'hack-a-Ron', or anyone wearing Red for that matter.

It wasn't long after the kickoff that Shitty showed their true agenda. 2 minutes into the game, Michael Ball recklessly hacked at Ronaldo and Styles, true to form, completely ignored it. It set the tone for rough-house tackles by both sides. Well, it's what you would expect from a derby anyway.

To be fair, given our exhaustions in midweek, Shitty did look like the brighter of the 2 sides, forcing Van der Sar to a couple of good saves. We, on the other hand, didn't do too badly ourselves, hitting the post and crossbar with efforts from Vidic and Rio respectively.

Both sides were unable to get a foothold on the game until a decisive moment in the 33rd minute. Michael Ball once again fouled Ronaldo, but this time he did it inside the box and Styles awarded a penalty. Ronaldo came forward and slotted the spot kick giving a precious one goal advantage.

The second was none too inspiring from both sides, as Kentona and I went into deep conversation over our surprising progress this entire season. It was something neither of us had expected given our paper thin squad and recent injuries, but were nonetheless grateful for.

Then in the 81st minutes, Shitty were awarded a penalty when Brown fouled Ball. It did look like a soft penalty to give away, but hey, we're dealing with Rob Styles. I was personally uttering a half curse on Kentona for bringing his girlfriend along to watch the game with us. Given our past record of watching United games together with her for the past 2-3 years, she's been jinxing our results. This is of course no blame on her. It always solely lies with Kentona. (Sorry pal, needa score some points with Audrey)

Darius Vassell stood up and blasted the ball down the middle, only for Van der Sar to save with his legs. The curse was lifted! Although personally I felt it was the presence of my significant other that neutralized the curse, but that's another story for another day (needa score more points). For today we celebrate, not only another victory, but another gargantuan step towards reclaiming the Premiership trophy!

Now only a point separates us from taking back what we've 'loaned' out for the past 3 seasons. The fat lady hasn't sung yet, but given the way she's clearing her throat, the sweet melody isn't too far away. I'm not the type who likes to celebrate unless it's in the bag, but hell, the feeling's great to be so close to the prize after such a long journey. Please, no slip ups.

Other Significant Results Today
Wigan 0 - Middlesbrough 1
West Ham United 3 - Bolton 1

The results are significant. This was brought up by LY while I was typing entry. Assuming Chelsea wins their next 2 games against Arsenal and ourselves, we go into the final fixture against West Ham still needing a point. West Ham also needs a point to ensure Premiership existence. Without being a conspiracy theorist, both teams need just a point to meet our respective goals. If I were a betting man.....hmmm.....

Of course if Chelsea drops points tomorrow or against us on Wednesday, all bets are off and we celebrate like no tomorrow.

Comfortable (Manchester United 2 - Sheffield United 0)

Two early goals, one in each half settled the game. We never really gotten our engine started when Carrick took on a beautiful pass from Ronaldo and lifted it deftly past Kenny in the 3rd minute of the game.

Rob Styles, as usual, was ridiculously inconsistant with his yellow card decisions. For most parts of the first half, he let Sheffied United get away with murder. The tackle on Evra which resulted in his substitution was horrendous. It could have broken a leg, yet Styles let the perpetrator off with a warning.

Smith too got a huge kick in the buttocks and his perpetrator got off with a warning. His shorts was almost ripped off in that tackle. Yet almost comically, Ronaldo's marker Geary was booked for a foul that looked really innocent. I never understand Rob Styles when he referees.

Anyway, early in the second half, Giggs made a sublime pass to Rooney and he swept it into the goal. Sheffield United, quite truthfully, never really looked like threatening our goal. They looked like they spent the entire game in a damage limitation exercise.

After going two goals up, we were also conserving our energy passing the ball around. It wasn't much of a spectacle, just a convincing win. Both sides knew there were more important games to expand their strength in the coming weeks.

Oh, and Rob Styles probably stole the show again in the second half when he denied a penalty to Sheffield United. Their chief striker, Luton Shelton, was blatantly brought down by Heinze, but Styles swallowed his whistle. Shelton's really impressed me. He gave our make-shift central defenders, Heinze and Brown a torrid time whenever he had the ball. Thankfully there weren't many opportunities for him to get the ball.

We've put the pressure back on Chelsea who faces relegation threatened West Ham tomorrow. Let's hope West Ham are desperate enough to make a fight out of it. It would be really sweet if they could do what they did to us to Chelsea.

And in the weekend, we face Boro in another late kickoff. Let's hope we fare better this time round.

FA Youth Cup
We beat Liverpool at Anfield 2-1. Couldn't catch the game yesterday. No torrents available either, so it kinda sucks all round.

PFA Awards
Ronaldo, Giggs and Scholes are in contention for the main award and Rooney and Ronaldo are in for the young player award. Quite frankly this year's awards are farcical at best.

I can't freaking believe Gerrard and Fabregas were even nominated. Gerrard isn't even the best player for Liverpool this season, and Fabregas was much better last season. Not to mention it's a travesty that Michael Essien isn't even nominated. And I haven't even mentioned players like Berbatov or Carragher, who have been outstanding for their respective clubs.

And don't even get me started on the young player award. Kevin Doyle!?!?!??! I would expect someone nominated in this category to be at least 21 or younger at the start of the season. I just don't get it.

FWIW, Ronaldo should sweep both awards. It's not a given, although the voting is done by fellow professionals, and they ain't exactly rocket scientists either. But I'm not expecting any surprises here.

United Live to Fight Another Day (Middlesbrough 2 - Manchester United 2)

Gotta hate these late games. We never look good in late kickoffs and getting a draw here doesn't help our cause.

The game started brightly with good chances falling for both sides. Kuszczak made an early save from Downing and set the tone for what could be an entertaining game. Despite the loss of Scholes, and the general crappiness of Carrick, we played well in midfield. Rooney dropped deep to help out occasionally.

In the 23rd minute, a moment of brilliance from Rooney gave United the first goal. He jinked around two defenders to make space for the shot and scored with a sweet strike. Unfortunately that was his only positive contribution of the game. He looked sluggish and a step slow the entire game. Personally he was the worst performer in a United shirt today.

After the goal, United took complete control of the game. It's ridiculous how we didn't manage to score a second goal with all the possession and shots. Boro was reduced to counters and nearly had one when Yakubu turned Vidic sweetly, only for Kuszczak to make another superb save.

Despite the odd Boro foray forward, we looked like coasting to the next round of the FA Cup. But we're United and we simply love to do things the hard way. 2 minutes either way of the break, some suicidal defending allowed Boro to equalise and take the lead.

For the first goal, Kuszczak, Vidic and Heinze collided with Yakubu, leaving Cattermole a chance at goal. Then 1 minute after the break, Boateng scored from a corner. The defending was horrible. No one was even a 3 metres radius near Boateng when he headed the ball. It was just suicidal defending from us. Have I mentioned that I hate late kickoffs?

Anyway, we pressed forward to equalise and were somewhat fortunate to be given a penalty when Boateng handed the ball which trying to protect his face. I mean the ball was flying towards his face and upon natural instinct flung his arms up to protect his face. Unluckily for him, a penalty was the result.

Ronaldo stepped up, just as he did in the Premiership encounter, and blasted the ball past Schwarzer. The rest of the game was pretty much a dull affair. Well, at least to me it was a dull affair. I had hardly the energy to keep my eyes open. Hell, I've hardly the energy to write this entry. Seriously these late kickoffs are pissing the shit outta me.

Just before I go, I would like to say that Rob Styles is a horrible referee (at least for this game).

1. How many times does Ronaldo needs to be hacked, chopped and flattened before the opponent gets a yellow card? The Boro players were getting away with murder out there!
2. How the hell did Larsson get a yellow card in the first half? He was tripped and this blind bat gave him a yellow for diving! Incredible!
3. I thought the penalty decision was harsh. Sure it was undoubtedly a handball, but what was Boateng supposed to do? Let the ball hit him in the face? What if it hit him in the eye? Having been hit in the eye and gone thru an eye operation with permanent disability, what Boateng did was absolutely right. Looks like a player must sacrifice life and limb in the game. Of course that being said, Boateng gets paid alot more than me. All I get is free rides from Pok.