08/09 Report Card
Bah, I'm still smarting from last week's defeat. I can usually take defeats well, but this one leaves a bitter and lingering feel on the taste buds. I suppose at the end of the day, it's not losing that matters so much, but the way we bent over and got our ass kicked in the most comprehensive manner. To compound matters, I suppose we can conclude that Barcelona didn't even play anywhere close to their A game. Anyone who has seen that 6-2 thrashing of Real Madrid would probably agree that if they had played anywhere close to that level, we would've been blown out of the water.
All that said, we did have a very successful season. We completed a hat-trick of league titles. Despite how the media portrays it, Liverpool were never really close and we did win it on a canter. We also tracked half way across the globe and were rewarded with the World Club Cup. Although it must be said that the competition was woefully awful. And to round up our trophy collection, we also won the Mickey Mouse Cup via penalties. On the whole, I would say that we probably had a more than successful season.
On a more personal note, I did manage to catch all the United games except the couple played in Tokyo. I was in Beijing at that time and couldn't find a place that was showing the games. That's a personal best for me and an achievement I'm rather proud of.
I'm going to change the rules for this season's report card abit. Every year the report cards are based solely on Premiership games, but this year I'm probably going to include games from all competitions. There are a couple of reasons for this change. Firstly, I've watched so many games that I honestly cannot differentiate league games and non-league games. Secondly, I think there is a need to highlight that while we won the league with a superb squad rotation, individually, our players are not up to scratch when compared to our rivals. Top 11 against top 11, we're definitely not good enough and it has been proven time and again.
So here are the grades, before I ramble on and on:
Edwin Van der Sar (Grade A)
I initially pegged him as a B, but you gotta give credit when it's due. We haven't seen him flap much this season. Not to mention a record-breaking streak of clean sheets really pushes his balance sheet into the black. The real problem here is that I don't think our backups are good enough at this level yet. I can't remember his contract situation, but I hope he stays for one more season.
Tomasz Kususzczak (Grade B)
Hasn't done too badly when he's been called up. At the same time, hasn't really covered himself with glory either. The frank truth is that I have no idea what to make of him. I like him for his patience, wating in the wings but I reckon he's not going to get his due when Van der Sar retires. The chance probably falls to Ben Foster.
Ben Foster (Grade B)
He has played in fair amount of cup games and has done really well. The question here is, is he good enough to be our number 1? I'm not entirely sure. It doesn't help that he's gotten injured towards the end of the season. I'm sitting on the fence. Goalkeeping in one department that I've genuine worries over.
Nemanja Vidic (Grade A+)
Solid as a rock as usual. To me, he's our player of the year. The only questionable issue with him is that when he's off, he's pretty terrible. But that's something we can live with. So far, he's been on for over 90% of his games. By that percentage, he gets an A.
Rio Ferdinard (Grade A+)
I'm pleasently surprised at how Rio has taken to this whole captaincy thing. 2 year ago, I would have cringed at the prospect of him leading the team out, but now I'm glad he's the captain when all the obvious candidates are not around. I think he's not put a foot wrong this season, both on and off the field. For a character like Rio, that's gotta be a record in itself.
Johnny Evans (Grade A+)
Usually defenders, especially central defenders mature later in life, but Johnny seems to have taken it like fish in water. He hardly ever gets rattled and is a surprisingly good passer of the ball. Since this is his first season in the limelight, let's try not to get overly excited, although based on his performance this season, it's kinda hard not to. Still he's a very young man, asked to fill very big shoes.
Gary Neville (Grade B-)
B? WTF? That's my reaction too. Quite honestly he deserves alot less, but injuries and loyalty to the club counts for something. Having said that, I think I'm too soft to grade him properly.
Patrice Evra (Grade C)
How the hell do you fall from grace so quickly? Just 6 months ago, he was the best left back in the world, and today, he's not only completely lost his form, he single handedly almost lost us the league title. He's been god awful for the last 10 or so games. I would have put the sole blame on him for the Barcelona game if not for the fact there were actually players who were worse! What I think needs to happen is to find a back-up as soon as possible. We need competition at left-back and we need it badly. A fire needs to be lit under his ass.
Wes Brown (Grade B)
I'm using the same grade I did for the mid-term report, since that's the last we saw of him. Injuries have robbed him of another chance to stake his claim. That's the story of his life. The nearly-man.
Rafael Da Silva (B-)
I know alot of United fans are high on him but I'm slightly on the other side of the fence. I've that Evra feeling about him. Good going forward, horrible defender. From what I've seen so far, I'm not at all comfortable when he is defending. But remember he's still very young. Things could change, and I hope they do. I like his enthusiasm, and more importantly, I like what he brings to the game.
John O'Shea (Grade A+)
Yes, I know....plenty of WTFs in the background again. Word out there is that United fans generally do not think much of John. In fact most cringe when they see his name on the teamsheet. He is a limited player, which we can all agree on. But here's what I think. He's always ready when he's called upon for action. Granted he's not as good as most of the players in the squad, he does his best. Sure some may argue that his best is not good enough, but as an athlete, a sportsman and a footballer, you try your best to be your best. And that's what O'Shea does week in week out. The same however cannot be said for ALOT of our players. For that reason, and for that reason alone, he gets my top grade.
Darren Fletcher (Grade A+)
I dread doing the midfielders. I really do. Luckily I get to start off with one of my favourite players. The fact that Fletcher is our best midfielder this season goes to say alot of just how fucking awful we are in this department. Fletcher is a destroyer and he does his job excellently. To say we missed him in the final game of the season is an understatement. He does his job quietly and effectively, without the fanfare.
Michael Carrick (Grade D)
Don't even know why I bother. Most of the time you don't see him in the game anyway. I've tried to be kind in my mid-term report, but it's hard to hold back. As far as I'm concerned he's nothing but a water-carrier. Over-rated, over-paid. And I haven't seen any of those 'wow' passes that he's reputed to make. Big waste of time, bigger waste of money.
Anderson (Grade B-)
Told you the second season would be a difficult one. At least he's shown glimpses of greatness. How that will translate in the next few years is the key here. So far I'm just underwhelmed.
Paul Scholes (Grade C)
It shouldn't have to come to this. Scholesy is one of my favourite players, and it hurts me to see just how slow he's become. In fact all season, I cringe everytime he starts or comes on as a sub. I think without a shadow of a doubt, we can all agree he's best playing days are over. There are still glimpses of greatness once in a while, but those are few and far between.
Darron Gibson (Grade B)
Surprisingly, he's not as terrible as I expected him to be. Has scored a few scorchers and generally a pretty stable, yet not spectucular player. I expect plenty of Ronnie Wallwork and Nicky Butt comparisons here. At the beginning of the season, I thought he would never make the first team, but given just how awful our midfield really is on close inspection, he might just squeeze in afterall. That's not saying how good he is, just how pathetic we are.
Ryan Giggs (Grade A-)
Trying to be kind to another old guard here. Not exactly been superb the entire season, but he had his moments. I suppose the PFA Player of the Year trophy means he's really not that bad afterall, eh.
Park Ji Sung (Grade B)
I suppose you can't really fault Park much this season. He's done all he's been asked to do. Same story of running his socks off and not scoring enough goals. At least he's pretty damn consistant.
Nani (Grade C+)
Hasn't really been called upon much this season. You get the feeling that the Nani-experiment has become a flop. I wish Ferguson will give him a larger role next season and not doghouse him like this one. I suppose with Nani, you have to give him the Ronaldo timeline.
Ronaldo (Grade A)
I really hate to give him such a high grade, but he probably deserved it for his goals and generally taking it upon himself to win us games. As a person, I still think he's a dick, and a huge one at that. I still think we should cash in on him if the price is right. I know it's not a popular choice, but he and Real are a match made in heaven. Moreover, it's just a matter of time before we lose his services to a leg-breaking tackle. All the taunting of opponents is going to rear it's ugly head sometime in the future. Grade A asshole.
Wayne Rooney (Grade A)
Ferguson needs to stop fucking around with Rooney. He's been pretty damn good the whole season until the latter parts when he's been asked to play on the left. WTF! Exactly my thoughts. Rooney, trying to be the model professional, doesn't complain. And what that does is that Ferguson continues to fuck around with Rooney's career, you know, the same way O'Shea and Fletcher have been dicked around. And what makes this even more incredible, is that Rooney still gets an A inspite of Ferguson dicking him around.
Carlos Tevez (Grade C)
Sigh. I'm a huge huge Tevez fan. I've followed his career closely when he was with Boca and then Corinthians. So you can probably imagine the orgasmic reaction I had when he came on loan to us last season. It's like jumping into a threesome with your two favourite porn stars! Having said that, I must say I'm terrible disappointed this season. Firstly, Ferguson has been dicking him around. It's obvious and not up for arguement. Secondly, I'm terribly disappointed that Tevez has been dropping his poo all over the media. As much as I love the little fellow, I think it's going to be hard to stare insult in the face and still retain his services. I'm pretty sure it's the end of his United career, and if it's to another Premiership club, he's not getting any well wishes from me. And thirdly, I surprised just how ordinary Tevez has become. I don't know if it's due to Ferguson dicking him around or simply just playing in England. He used to be alot like Messi, with superb dribbling skills and sublime passes, but all those have disappeared.
Dimitar Berbatov (Grade C)
He's probably single-handedly ruined our season. No one knows exactly what to expect from him. I'm not impressed with him, yet I can understand why he can be useful. When he's asked to perform, he doesn't. And when we don't expect him to, he does. In a way he's an enigma. I think it'd be till the end of next season that we get a truer picture of what he brings to the team. Right now, he doesn't get my vote of confidence.
Danny Welback (Grade B)
Paulo Wanchope anyone? He plays exactly like the Costa Rican. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he gets a larger role next season. There is plenty to admire in his game and the maturity he approaches the game. If there is one criticism, is that he can be too selfish at times.
Federico Mecheda (Grade B)
Can't really say much about him except for those two goals he scored coming on as a sub. When he starts, there's really nothing much to crow about. Then again he's only freaking 17. There is a whole lot of future to go and he's already made an important impact.
There are plenty of youngsters that I've caught and missed out on the report, mostly due to a lack of opinion. One thing that I must add is that we've missed Hargreaves terribly. But when we signed him, we already knew he was going to spend most of his time on the treatment table. I suppose it's yet another blotched signing by a board that has money to throw but totally clueless.
And again to round up the report card....
Alex Ferguson (Grade A)
I had initially penned this one down as a B or even a C, but 3 trophies changed my mind. Not to mention he's handled the squad rotation policy well enough to win the Premiership despite a less than stellar cast, especially in midfield. He's also done well in cuddling the egos in Ronaldo, Berbatov and Tevez. Not to mention giving some of the kids a glimpse of what it's like to play with the big boys. Despite the fact I do not like the tactics of playing one up front, and screwing with the natural positions of some players, you really cannot argue with the amount of success we've had this season. Even screwing up the last game cannot take away the fact we've finally caught up with Liverpuss and poised to rough-arm them off the perch.
