Saturday, June 04, 2011

Season Report Card 10/11

I've been dragging my feet in the mud to do this, partly from the disappointment of being beaten in the Champions League finals, which I have a hard time getting over (more on that later), and partly because I really don't know how to grade this team.

In many ways, we have performed beyond my initial expectations at the beginning of the season, yet at the same time, I can't help but wonder how much of Arsenal's and Chelsea's loss of form at various points in the season helped us. Let's face it, Chelsea looked to canter away with the title at the beginning of the season until the turn of the year where they somehow couldn't win to save their skin.

Arsenal are Arsenal. As with the last few seasons, they are somehow able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Just like Benitez with Liverpool, Wenger is one stubborn son of a bitch. And we're just thankful he's one.

Couple that with our own feeble away record, it's really hard to say that we won the title, instead of them losing it. Yet we did. And to top it off, this isn't just any ordinary title. It's a special one. The one that took us over the top, the one that knocked our hated rivals off the perch.

Still the significance of the Premiership title and the sole accolade of being the 'Best in England' left a somewhat bitter taste in the mouth at the defeat...no, utter destruction at Wembley a week later. It was not only a loss for me last weekend. It was a realization that there is no way this team can ever be the top of the European class as long as Barcelona is around.

Some of their best players are young....really young. Messi is only 23, Iniesta is 27, Busquet is only 22 and Pique is only 24. These guys are the spine of the team going forward and I've not included guys like Villa, Puyol and Xavi who still have a few good years left in them. Not to mention an academy that keeps on producing gems like Pedro and Krkic. This is a team that is not only good at the present but built to continue into the next 10 or so years. We might be able to beat them once, maybe twice in that span of time, but this generation will belong to Barcelona unless something calamitous happens, like them running out of money and needing to sell Messi. That scenario seems more likely to happen to us though.

This is the realization that's kept me bitter for the past week or so. We maybe the kingpins in England, but in Europe, we're at best a second rated team. That said, I still enjoyed immensely the journey to the Champions League finals. It's the destination that was best forgotten.

I suppose with that rant off my chest, it's time to get down to business to rank the team.

Edwin Van der Sar (A+)
Wish he could stay another year. By far the best that we've had since Smikes. He kept us in a number of away fixtures and a real pity he couldn't end his career on a high. He'll just have to make do with being part of a team that kicked Liverpool off the perch. Wish him all the best in life.

Tomasz Kuszczak (C)I suppose he's on his way out too. I haven't been harsh on him the last couple of seasons and thought he was never given a fair chance. However, this once again proves that Ferguson knows so much more than me. Kuszczak was given ample chances to stake his claim as Van der Sar's successor, but he kept on fluffing his lines. I still think he's a good keeper, unfortunately Old Trafford is simply not his stage. It was almost painful to watch him at times. Wish you the best at your next club, hopefully the fans over there would be kinder to you.

Nemanja Vidic (A+)
Don't fuck around with our Serbian Terminator. There is a reason why he won the Barclay's Player of the Season award. He's simply the best at his position, not to mention the most consistant. I've used this term on him in previous report cards and I'll use it again today: Solid as a rock. And he made Captain this season.

Rio Ferdinand (A)
Didn't get to play as much as he would have liked as injuries ravaged a good portion of the season. However when he's played, he's been quite excellent. The only reason he's not getting an A+ from me is that he just can't keep his bloody mouth shut. He simply loves the attention and has to have his two cents worth to the media everytime anything controversial comes up. And he nearly gets a B for thinking of himself as a United legend. Still long way to go Rio, still a long long way to go before you can even be elevated to that level. There is a 12 step program to reach there, beginning with the first step of admitting that you're a dick and an attention whore....


Chris Smalling (A+)
Holy moly Batman! In a season that hasn't been too impressive, he stood out like a shining becon of light. He's been amazing, absolutely amazing. Hardly put a foot wrong whenever he came on the pitch. I know I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I really do think he's our new Vidic/Stam. Not to mention he's looked great from set pieces upfront too. However before you get as excited as me, I used to say the same about a certain Johhny Evans...


Johnny Evans (B)
This came close to a C, but that would have been slightly unfair to him. Let's just say this has been one season to forget for Johnny.

Patrice Evra (C)
Evra's probably been our worst defender this entire season. I don't know what's wrong with him. Maybe the fallout from the World Cup over last summer has finally gotten to him. He doesn't defend, he doesn't go forward, in short he pretty much sucked this entire season.

Rafael (B)
Plenty of potential from the lad. However he's very reckless trying to make the telling tackle instead of sheparding his attacker into less dangerous positions. Suffered a pretty bad injury somewhere in the season and lost he's place at right-back to his twin Fabio.

Fabio (B)
Despite the poor season Evra has, he's been unable to dislodge the French pisser. Instead got his chance at right-back. Frankly, I can't tell the brothers apart, but for the one distinct difference that Fabio seems like the calmer player in defending. He doesn't rush things as much as Rafael. Didn't set the stage alight, but didn't do badly either.

John O'Shea (A)
Left, right centre, he's played them all, and played them reasonably well. Once again O'Shea was called upon when the early season injuries plagued the team. There were even a couple of games where he stole the show at right-back. Sadly for him, he wasn't prominantly featured at the later stages of the campaign. Steady but unspectacular.

Gary Neville (A++)
Before you go screaming your head at this grade, hear me out first. This is a truely biased grade and I'll gladly put my hands up. If we're grading his playing this season, he gets an outright F. However the true greatness of the man was to bow out when he knew his playing days were numbered. And in doing so gave a chance for the younger players to gain valuable experience, at the same time losing out on a medal at the end of the season. Take note Rio, that's how you freaking become a legend! And the extra + is for turning up with the away supporters at Stamford Bridge! Freaking Legend!

Paul Scholes (A++)
Another super biased grade. I'm a huge huge Scholes fan and rather sad that's he's decided to hang up his boots. But when Father Time robs of the gifts of Mother Nature, retiring is the right thing to do. He had a brilliant start to the season and was our little general in midfield. He was pulling all the strings and for a while there, it looked like he was going to go on for a long long time, however as the season wore on, he got increasingly frustrated that he couldn't produce that level of football and it resulted in some really woeful tackling, which has been his trademark. Ultimately, it probably led to Scholes calling it a day. We will miss you terribly.

Darren Fletcher (B)
Didn't really have a good season and it didn't help that he caught some virus that really prevented him from doing anything meaningful this season.

Park Ji Sung (A+)
You know, there was one season where I used the term 'industrious' to describe him in a rather condescending way. This season is the exact opposite. He's absolutely industrious and in a midfield that lack any sort of creativity, his industry was exactly what was needed. He's possibly one of the brightest spark in a midfield that as woefully short of any.

Ryan Giggs (A)
Some players are like wine, they get better with age. Giggs is one of those rare ones. He's been playing a more central role and somehow at his age, just seems to have bundles of energy. It isn't his best season, but better that the last few season's combined. Maybe the fountain of youth isn't a fantasy afterall.

Antonio Valencia (A)
Started well and ended well. Missed the entire in-between part with a horrible ankle break. When he returned from that injury, he carried on from where he left off, and that's being a huge threat on the right. The only downside of his return is that Nani became rather crap on the left.

Nani (A)
Had his best season in a United jersey. There were times he reminded us of Ronaldo, but such comparisons are unfair to him. He's his own man and this season, he really grew up and became one. He did everything, from creating goals to scoring them. Hell, he could even be counted on to help defend. Not to mention, he's said all the right things to the media, something you rarely hear from players nowadays. The only downside is that he's still prone to exaggration when touched.

Anderson (B)
Really hard to grade Anderson here. He's played a few games and has been rather hit and miss. There were games he absolutely dominated, and there were games he was piss poor. I suppose the talent is there, but the consistency isn't.

Darron Gibson (C+)
I'm trying to be kind to Gibson here. I think the more I see him play, I more I think he's not going to make the cut at Old Trafford. I like the kid, I really do. I admire his grit and desire to etch out a career at Old Trafford, despite the offers he's had in the past for first team football. However at some point in time, he has to know that he's not going to make the cut. We can see it, Ferguson probably sees it, and it's about time he sees it too. I'll be sad to see someone who bleeds red leave, but for his career and future, it just maybe best to part ways. And if you don't make it to the next report card, I'll wish you the best in your future endeavours and as mean-spirted as I am in this blog, I really do mean it from my heart.

Michael Carrick (F)
Didn't want to even include his name, but I eventually have to. He gets an F for fuck off. I'm sure off the pitch he's a fine lad, but bloody hell, he's an absolute nightmare this season (and a few others). This Invisible Man act simply has to stop. It's bad enough playing a midfield that has little to no creativity, we have to handicap ourselves by playing him. He's probably had 4, maybe 5 good games the entire season and 4 of those were against Chelsea. For some unexplainable reason, he just finds his Superman costume against Chelsea and then reverts to being absolutely anonymous. And being anonymous is actually a good thing for us, coz when we do see him, it's usually some fatal fuck up. And he wonders why fans don't warm up to him!

Wayne Rooney (C+)
He came good at the run in, but let's not forget what he did in the beginning of the season. He wanted out and was angling for a good deal, which he got eventually. Despite all the good work he's done in the last couple of months, there are people like me who don't forget. He has since apologised and I have since forgiven....but I don't forget. To be fair to him, he starts on a clean slate next season. Until the next fuck up, I'll be watching.

Dimitar Berbatov (B+)
21 goals, Premiership top scorer and yet he somehow manages to fall down the pecking order. Ordinarily, I would have been screaming my head off that he wasn't included, but then again, it's Berbatov. I think I've finally pinpointed what his problem is, or to be exact, what our problem with him is....he never scores when it matters. This season, he's improved his attitude by leaps and bounds. He's been caught on camera chasing the ball, tackling and gerneally doing the things the fans love to see. There is urgency in his play, especially earlier in the season and it resulted in a hattrick of hattricks, including one against Liverpool, and yet we turn on him, get disappointed with him, and secretly glad he could be leaving. In a way I feel sorry for him. Whatever he does, it just turns out wrong. However having said that, put me in the category of being secretly glad there could be a distinct possiblity of him leaving.

Javier Hernandez (A+)
We did the impossible, we replaced Solskjaer. All he need to do now is to score a last minute goal at the Champions League finals to seal his legendary status. Pure genius move by Ferguson to pluck him out before the World Cup. And the best part is, Chicarito delivered. He did what Berbatov couldn't and that's to score when it counted.

Michael Owen (C)
Well, didn't expect much from Owen. He just didn't get the games and couldn't do much when he did. In any case, still glad he's staying another year, but the competition will get tougher as the young bucks on loan will return to add much needed competition up front in the next season.

There are some players that I would like to comment on that didn't make enough appearnces to garner a grade

Bebe
Don't know what to make of him. There are glimpses of why we paid so much for him, yet at the same time, not enough to justify the amount. However I'm going to take Dwight Yorke's word for it when he mentioned that it would take at least a couple of years for Bebe to settle down in England before his football education even begins. I suspect we're looking at a 4-5 year timeline, like the one we gave Ronaldo and Nani. So we have to make do with some good and loads of poor performances in the meantime.

Gabriel Obertan
Who? Looks like he's not going to make the grade. Like Gibson, it seems likely he's not going to make the cut. There's nothing wrong with his skills level. He's problem is up there in the head. He just doesn't seem to believe he's good enough and it translates to his play. Worse of all, it translates to the fans. Would be surprised to see him make the grade next season.

Wes Brown
Just can't buy a break can he? Looks like he's in Ferguson's doghouse. He's not getting any younger and to be fair to him, I wouldn't mind if he moved on elsewhere to squeeze whatever is left of his playing days. Reminds me of my friend's brother....so much wasted potential.

That probably about covers the all players in the first team. We also have some players who have gone on loan and some have done themselves proud.

Danny Welbeck - Sunderland
Didn't really have the greatest start while on loan, but boy did he burst on to the scene and couldn't stop scoring for the Black Cats. Of all the loanees, it would seem that he's the most likely to feature most prominantly next season. His experience and exploits at Sunderland will auger well in the next campaign.

Tom Cleverly - Wigan
Another one who seems to have done well at another Premiership club. He's goals have been crucial to keep Wigan in the Premiership next season. With the exception of N'Zogbia, he's probably their most important player in the run in. Likely to replace Scholesy position in the team, although it remains to be seem if we are raiding the transfer market.

Macheda - Sampdoria
Hardly did anything worthwhile at Sampdoria. Even he admits it was a waste of time. He's only scored on solitary goal in a cup game and hasn't scored nor featured in a majority of the Sampdoria games. To be fair to him, even the Sampdoria fans admit that the team's piss poor all season.

Mame Biram Diouf - Blackburn
He spent an entire season at Blackburn. Had a blistering start to his Blackburn career with a debut hattrick at Norwich in the League Cup, then scoring days later against Arsenal. But it all petered out, ending the season with only 6 goals in 29 appearances. It's doubtful he'll be around next season with the kind of talent we have upfront.


Ritchie de Laet - Portsmouth
Not very much information here and after all the writing in the past few hours, I'm a little tired to do anymore research. All I know is that he's been playing for Pompey at rightback, despite the left back position he plays for us. Not too sure about his performances, but from what little I read, the Pompay fans seem to be satisfied with him, so he hasn't done too badly I suppose.

Last but not least.....

Alex Ferguson (A++)
Not too sure how the fuck he got this bunch to win the title, but he did. Let's face it, with this midfield, especially playing Carrick so much, it's a wonder we managed to draw so many away games instead of losing them. The thing that has to be said here is that Ferguson has instilled a winning mentality in the team. We never ever say die and keep plugging away until the final whistle. Despite his stubborness in playing some players, he always manages to bring out the best in the team. It will be a sad day for all United fans when Ferguson finally calls it a day. Maybe the defeat to Barcelona might be the best tonic to keep Ferguson going. Just like his teams, Ferguson never gives up.

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